Cont. Do you allow your children to watch...

[Flunky]

Do you allow your children to watch Scary Movies?

absyntheimmortal wrote

...and if so, what age do you think is appropriate.


Personally I think it depends on the child, and I always talked to my son and explained that the movie was not real, it was all done with cameras and special effects and that he should not be afraid of what he sees, and if he was, we would stop. I knew some mothers that would not allow their kids to watch them and they became very afraid and cringed when the movies were even mentioned. My theory was that forbidding the movie made it even scarier than it really was. My son is grown now and a very stable young man, so I guess I didn't scar him for life by letting him watch Nightmare on Elm Street with me when he was 5. The quality time together was great and I would not have given that up for anything. Of course now he devours anything horror related. Perhaps I created a demon lol.

Your thoughts?

ninefingerstentoes wrote

You know, I think about this a lot.

My son is 7, and we watch big bug/big animal movies with him almost every weekend (Lake Placcid, Jaws, King Kong, Godzilla, Eight Legged Freaks, that kind of stuff), but we don't let him watch the "killer" movies just yet.

I'm not sure what age is the "appropriate" age for horror, but I think we're getting nearer and nearer that age. My rule of thumb has been to wait until he asks. I mean, he knows who Jason and Freddy and Chucky are -- but he has no desire to watch those movies yet. So he hasn't. If he tells me he wants to watch one... I'll probably let him. But I'll definitely watch it with him.

xJekyllx wrote

I'm glad I don't have kids to worry about making this decision.

Sadly though, customers think I should make decisions for THEIR kids when it comes to movies.

Grow up and sit down and watch a movie WITH your kids, I ain't their babysitter. And if I was, I would be the coolest babysitter on the block

backroads523 wrote

i have to see it first, then i decide.

Horror_Kitty wrote

In the last few years I've been letting my daughter watch more and more horror. She's 12 now, will be 13 in February. Last year was Poltergeist and Jaws, and she handled those fine.

More recently was It (which she loved but did cause her to sleep with the light on for two nights), Pet Semetary (which really freaked her out, she ended up with the light on for 4 nights in a row and not wanting to see it again, I feel bad about that one), and Child's Play (which she thought was cute, but didn't really affect her). So, yeah, I think the personality of the child is more important than age. Some kids can handle gore and whatnot younger than others. My daughter is very sensitive, and we always watch these kinds of movies together, and I always remind her that it's all made up. She handles some just fine, others she doesn't like. We're discovering that together, though.

I'm more concerned with the nudity and sex in the slasher films, which is why I won't let her see those yet.

~Meg

Flunky wrote

My mother was REALLY crazy about not letting me watch horror when I was younger (I mean like, wouldn't let me watch the Addams Family cartoon on Saturday mornings) which is part of the reason I haven't seen a nice chunk of the classics (I'm not telling you which ones, let me retain some of m dignity. I'm working on seeing them now). Because of this I didn't really start watching horror until Signs came out and it freaked me out (I'm fine now. I own it.) and I was old enough to start watching horror movies and there was nothing she could do about it. I have a friend whose mother is still like that and I have to force her to watch the really good horror movies because she's that freaked out about it.

So there you go, a lesson in parenting. Better to let your child be scarred for life by a cartoon girl with a spider for a yo-yo than let them grow up to be wusses.

ninefingerstentoes wrote

Quote:I'm more concerned with the nudity and sex in the slasher films, which is why I won't let her see those yet.

This came up in another thread. To be honest, I'm with you on this. We don't let the boy watch ANYTHING with nudity, and have even had him turn around when the petting gets to be a bit much.

BUT...

I wonder why we do this. I mean, why is sex worse than death? Frued would tell us that we are dealing with the epitome of the two driving forces: the life force and the death force, and apparently, we're more lenient letting our kids partake and enjoy the death force than we are in letting them experience the life force.

I'm not arguing one side over the other, I just wonder why it is that we find it okay that young kids witness death and decapitation before we find it okay that they witness boobs and copulation.

xJekyllx wrote

And the above will remain to baffle me for all time.

Flunky wrote

Quote:why it is that we find it okay that young kids witness death and decapitation before we find it okay that they witness boobs and copulation.

To over simplify it, boobs are dirty and decapitation is just gross.

Horror_Kitty wrote

Quote:I'm not arguing one side over the other, I just wonder why it is that we find it okay that young kids witness death and decapitation before we find it okay that they witness boobs and copulation.

You make an excellent point.

My thing is, my daughter is going to be a teenager very soon, I'm not worried about her running around and beheading people. I am worried about her fooling around with boys.

Also, I watch horror movies with her, and who wants to watch a sex scene with their kid? LOL!

~Meg

ninefingerstentoes wrote

Quote:I'm not worried about her running around and beheading people. I am worried about her fooling around with boys.

;D ;D ;D
That is a great answer! And I think you may be right!

absyntheimmortal wrote

I disagree about not letting children watch nudity or sex on film. Being open and honest and teaching your children what is right or wrong is better than teaching them that a a natural part of life is bad. They will end up having relationship problems or worse when they are adults. Nudity and sex are natural and healthy in the proper environment and hiding it makes it appear wrong. Teach your children what is proper regarding sex, nudity and any subject they are curious about. If the subject comes up in a movie or otherwise, talk to them about it.. most kids know more than you think they know anyway..give them an opportunity to have a healthy conversation about it with someone who cares about them.

Most serial killers were taught that sex was bad/forbidden/evil and acted out on their frustrations as adults.

You may want to rethink this one.

Abs

ninefingerstentoes wrote

Ooooh, Abs in with a good argument for the other side!

Hmmm... you know I've thought about this recently with some members of my family in mind. You know, I was 11, 12, or 13 the first time I saw pornography, and it was pretty mind consuming and I LOVED it. And it raised lots of questions for me and my friends and sometimes I was stressed out about sex and all this and that. BUT in the long run, I think it was perfectly natural, perfectly normal, and not one bad thing can be said about the experience.

On the other hand 11, 12, and 13 is much more mature than say... a 6 year old. So I don't think a 6 year old should be exposed to that stuff because I don't think they have a mental scaffold big enough to hold that stuff up at 6. At 11, yeah, maybe.

On the other other hand, I have some pretty puritanical family members who will not allow their children to watch anything over a PG rating. They censor books, movies, television, everything. They live almost like the kids on Little House on a Prairie. They're not allowed to go to skating rinks, pizza places... tons of crazy stuff like that. The kids range in age from 17, 14, 13, and down. Now, the 17 year old is about to leave home and we can see the rebellion in her eyes... She is tired of this sheltered existence and she is about to bust free. While they're are polite, well mannered kids, I think that their sheltered lives are going to cause MAJOR problems when this girl moves out. She knows nothing of sex, much less how to do it safely. Not that watching Striptease is the best of teachers, but even a little vicarious experience is better than no experience at all.

So I'm not sure. Right now, if I find some skin mags or flicks in my son's room when he's 12 or 13, I'd like to think I'd just laugh it off and let it slide. Of course, he's not that old yet. I still have time to think...

Basement Troll wrote

My wife's older brother is a Baptist minister and missionary along with his wife in Kenya where they raise two boys, both of whom are out of high school, while they were there. They lived and grew up in a very structured environment through the church and the compound in which they resided. They had all the cool stuff that came along with living on top of the Rift Valley but they are now both here in Canada and trying to make it on thier own and failing...miserbly.
The reason?....absoultely no social skills whatsoever....they had house boys and maids....neither know how to cook for themselves or do the laundry, the eldest just had his life collapse to the point Dad had to fly in from Africa to get him set straight again....no place to live...keeps losing jobs...no money etc.
The whole family grew up with the motto "God Provides". Seems reality for the boys has set in. Neither socialize well and can't tolerate groups of 3 or more, neither know how to act amongst other folks...
This upbringing has severely handicapped the two of them.
A balance needs to be maintained. Dolling out the shocks of reality a bit at a time, so it comes time for them to be on their own, they have the metal as well as the physical skills to cope on their own. Being able to make decisions for themselves in invaluable and evem more importantly...making mistakes and having to recover from them.
The oldest boy did not know how to recover from theses sat backs...

staticguard wrote

NO SCARY MOVIES FOR MY KIDS, BUT SADLY I LET THEM WATCH ROMANTIC COMEDIES.

Its a Boy Girl Thing is one I recently let my kids watch. I enjoyed it but I don't think they understood it and it was too sexy

Mizerrie wrote

This has always been a debate with my friends and family, I see nothing wrong with kids watching some horror. I know my mom never worried about what I saw and I was exposed to horror movies and books at a young age, so maybe that's why I see nothing wrong with it. She also didn't monitor what horror movies she took me to. LOL
I think since it has always been around my kids don't think much about it, it's nothing more then a movie for entertainment. Maybe my kids are weird but I can remember that one of my twins would watch Stephen King's Maximum Overdrive since he was like two, it was to the point my mom bought him the movie and he dragged it around with him for years. Most of the horror movies they were first exposed to were on TV, where most of the gory stuff was edited out, so I didn't see anything wrong with it. I was careful what they would see and if I thought it was just a little too much for them then they wouldn't see it. They always had some interest in seeing some horror movies but not all the time and it's only recently that they will pick a horror movie to see at the theater. I also think that mainstream horror movies have changed since I was a kid, they seem a little bit watered down and not so much gore, so they tend to be more of a thriller then blood and guts. I think it just depends on the kids and how you go about letting them see certain things, we spend a lot of time talking about all movies, so I think that helped them with it and they could ask questions.

So far they seem normal... LOL
~M

sexyvampyre1313 wrote

Well, I haven't given birth yet so it will be a few years before I actually have shared horror movies with my niece and nephews and I was introduced to them at an early and we're all fine. I think the whole thing is to make sure the young person viewing realizes that it's not real and talk to them about it so they don't end up with nightmares. When my niece, Hayley, was two she watched The Grudge with me and her older brothers and she thought it was great. The best part was when the face appears in the bus window she said (in her best scooby doo voice) spoooooooooooooooky and started laughing at it. And when her older brother was between 3-5 his two fav movies, besides all the Land Before Time cartoons, was Sleepy Hollow and John Carpenter's Vampires. Neither of them has had nightmares or done anything violent.
As for nudity. I don't think children need to view full on sex acts but some mild nudity doesn't bother me. The human body is a beautiful thing and she be seen as art. I personally draw nudes so the child will see my art in our home.

Kas

Bloody MonkeyZ wrote

My kids have watched horror movies with me as long as they been around (the kids not the movies.) I have had some minor restrictions, but they were based on my perception of maturity. I didn't let my kids watch Nightmare on Elm Street simply because the premise was a little too deep for young kids in my opinion. Kids can get pretty freaked out by dreams under normal circumstances. Introducing the concept of a villain who can kill you in your dreams seemed to cross a line to me. But zombies or aliens, well there was a different level of reality there.

Interesting the comparison between horror and sex. I have never had an issue with my kids watching hollywood sex scenes. But they tend to not want to. Even a light petting scene will cause my son to turn his head awkwardly from the screen. Someone mentioned how keeping your kids from watching horror tends to make them unable to deal with these movies later in life and I wonder if the same can be said for sex scenes. If you make it tabboo, then it becomes dirty and sleezy.

I have friends on opposite ends of the spectrum. One will tell her boys about anything and everything sexual and talks openly about it all. Her boys have issues but not related to that. The other one won't let her son watch anything even remotely scary. He is a fraidy cat and couldn't handle something like Nightmare Before Christmas. I don't think that letting your kids have more information is ever a bad thing. Cuz knowledge is power! To quote Saturday morning cartoon commercials.

JimmyZ
Brainbaby wrote

I probably am a "kid" by most of your standards, and I would say on the behalf of preteens and teenagers that horror movies are not a bad thing to grow up with IF your parents are able to handle the movies. I think kids should be weaned into horror though. My first memory of horror was watching Cujo, and I was maybe five or six. I think that the sex scene thing isn't a big deal as long as it isn't explicit. I can watch a little bit of cosseting, but anything more showy will make me want to throw up. Also, I think that since most kids know more than parents do about sex and the results of it (once they've taken high school health class) it is not something that needs to be overly discussed. I know I get annoyed when people bring it up or try to have "The Talk" because I already KNOW what they want me to know. Just a warning to parents, don't bother with "The Talk" if your kid is in high school. At that point if they are going to mess around, they probably already have, and if they aren't going to they'll probably hold to their word. Brainbaby

Bloody MonkeyZ wrote

Well, technically you are a kid by any standards based on your age. Which is the primary basis for the label "kid" (unless you parents are goats... don't even respond to that one!) As for the amount of sex in movies that is ok and how much kids know in high school compared to parents who don't know as much...wait, I am not having a discussion with my daughter about sex on an internet forum...

Isn't there something with a lovely zombie or serial killer we could be talking about instead?

JimmyZ

[drdeimos]

I have no kids *yet* though I have a litle sister with 13 years of difference between her age and my age. She is a teen nowadays, and a really preepish one, the pink pop fan kind. Me, as the doomy dark brother, has always tried to teach her some cool things (why not, some not so plastic values, metal music, horror films, and some cool fiction literature.)

I think it really depends on the personality, for it doesn't matter how much I've tried to show this stuff to her, she doesn't like the movies, or the music, nor the literature of horror fiction. You have to think about this, if they like it and get interested in the genre, go ahead, I didn't end up a serial killer so I think it's ok, but if they aren't into it, you can't force anyone.

I remembered I tried to show her Nightmare on Elm Street when she was around 7, so she couldn't sleep for about a couple of weeks, and I on my part ended up having problems with my parents for about a year or so for being such a "fuck up" according to them. Well I would have been mad at myself too if I'd had to bear with my sister not letting me sleep everynight during that year, lol.