Post by BloodyMonkeyZ on Oct 11, 2017 17:01:32 GMT -6
NOTE: The idea behind the Chainsaw Death Match is we have two reviewers with different opinions on a movie grab chainsaws and proceed to explain why they are right and their opponent wrong. It can get bloody, but that is part of the fun. Feel free to comment your thoughts and vote for who won!
BLOODYMONKEYZ: Hostel is a movie with two distinct halves, and neither half is very connected with the other. At the start of the movie we have our trio of intrepid backpackers currently bunking down in Amsterdam. Paxton, Josh, and Oli have just one thing on their minds. Sex. Being in Amsterdam, they naturally go to the red light district where Oli and Paxton get their jollies. But Josh has reservations about paying a woman for sex. When they get locked out of their hostel because they missed curfew, they meet a young man who guides them to an unlisted hostel in Slovakia where the women are hot and loose for Americans.
Ok. So the point is that college kids just want to get laid. Nothing else matters to them. And we get 45 minutes of them doing everything they can to achieve that goal. Even going totally off the beaten path because of potential sex.At this point in the movie, Oli, Josh, and Paxton are entertaining characters, but they are in a movie without a plot.
Velma: Are you serious? No plot? This movie should be mandatory for all young adults traveling abroad to give them an idea of what could happen! The part of the movie in which you discuss is the part where we get a feel for how carefree and trusting these dudes are. I mean sheesh, they pick up Oli along the way. How do they know he isn’t some lunatic? Traveling abroad is this rite of passage where everyone is all Kumbaya. NOT! On their way to Slovakia they meet Edward Saladhands. This character seems somewhat harmless. He is just an older dude chatting with these guys. When he touches Josh’s leg, Josh immediately reacts with hostility by screaming at the man. The guy quietly exits the car. Josh has no idea how he sealed his own fate. This movie also is a public service message about treating people with kindness and respect because you never know when you will run into them again!
BLOODYMONKEYZ: I absolutely get the idea of traveling abroad being a rite of passage. And yeah, Edward Saladhands was a creepy damn dude. There is absolutely a message here about not trusting blindly in people. But Paxton and Josh do that nonstop. They take being naïve to a whole other level. I can see meeting up with Oli and having a good time and traveling with him. But from there they go so much further. After Josh refusing to have sex with a girl that Oli paid in advance, the trio jumps at the chance to go 800 miles to where girls are willing to throw themselves at Americans. Amsterdam to Slovakia means crossing Germany. Completely. And then Czechoslovakia! And only then do they arrive in the promised land. (I was curious about the distance, and according to google there isn’t a train route from Amsterdam to Slovakia. But that is me being nitpicky. I know.)
But let’s go back to Edward Saladhands. Because this is one of those “accept this moment just because it makes the movie work” moments. So at some point on this 800 mile train ride, Saladhands boards the train and happens to choose their cabin to sit in. Fast forward to Slovakia and the scene where Josh leaves the bar for a moment to be accosted by the Slovakian equivalent of the Children of the Corn. And lucky for him just at this moment Saladhands shows up with a Jolly Rancher for the leader. Saving poor Josh from a wildly random meaningless death. Josh offers to buy him a drink and fondles his leg to show him that he was wrong for reacting poorly to the unwanted grope on the train. I get that Saladhands knows the kids in the area and how to deal with them. This isn’t his first rodeo. But once again we are given this scenario where we simply must accept that Saladhands happens to be in the area at the right time to help. Or maybe it is just an elaborate setup in ways that weren’t fully explained. Everything was a setup. If that was the case though, Oli should have been part of the setup. I actually think I would have liked it better if Oli had been a bad guy. Hmmmm.
Velma: I loved Oli. And I completely understand why the broads banged him. Oli is that “in the moment” man. He was the King of Swing!!! But I digress. Eli Roth has a formula and it works. He picks these three guys with different dynamics and puts them in this crazy situation. The first day, everyone was happy and loving the sex. The second day, you notice Oli is missing which results in Josh losing his luster for this den of inequity. Paxton still hasn’t caught on. Third day, Josh is missing and Paxton finally accepts that something is amiss. Now let’s go to Saladhands. I firmly believe that by Josh’s actions in the train car, he doomed himself. I realized how naïve I was when I first saw this movie. I never, in a million years, imagined the chain of events that would ensue once Josh woke up bound to a chair. I was in such shock because my mind didn’t contemplate anything of the sort! You would think I would have a clue to this fate after watching the opening scene of the movie where all the blood and such was being mopped up. Nope. I have to wonder if I even truly knew what this movie was about when I chose to watch it! When I saw Josh bound to that chair and then Saladhands as the maniacal surgeon, shit got real! Josh was in complete and utter shock. I mean, he and this man had made amends. He has no idea why he is in this chair. After the monologue given by foliage fingers, he gives Josh a glimmer of hope that he will let him go. As he cuts Josh’sbindings, you see that he also severs his Achilles tendon on both legs. It brought me back to Pet Cemetery, Herman Munster style.As he still crawls, believing he might still escape this nightmare, his nemesis pulls his head back and slashes his throat. Seriously, the death of Josh totally devastated me. I just wasn’t ready for it. It shows you that Eli Roth has perfected his craft. This isn’t his only movie where I was just completely shocked and traumatized. But those will be discussed later!
BLOODYMONKEYZ: I do agree about Oli. And honestly think that he was the best part of the movie. Once our trio arrives in Slovakia, the second half of the movie begins. The torture porn part. I have always seen this as the genesis of the torture porn genre. While some claim Saw (which came out the year prior) initiated it, I would disagree with that. The Saw franchise did devolve into torture porn, but at the core it was a movie about making decisions that would keep you alive and how far you would be willing to go to survive. As a matter of fact, the first movie wasn’t even very bloody. But I digress. Because Hostel embraces the concept of torture porn, swims around in the buckets of blood and human detritus, and emerges. The concept that these people are paying for the opportunity to torture and kill is the bit that makes me say the second half is also without a plot.
I was rooting for Paxton when he was bound to the chair about to be tortured to death. His escape from the room was well done. Once outside the room though, it was a constant stream of luck. The part where he is in a room with dead bodies on a cart and a guy is coming in, and somehow Paxton gets under the bodies in the 30 seconds it takes the guy to enter. Hell, give him 15 minutes and I bet he can’t get the bodies off, himself on the bottom, and the bodies nicely piled on top of himself! Getting past that though, he gets out from that sticky situation and makes his way (miraculously) unnoticed to the changing room where he gets clothes to make himself look presentable. Manages to get out and in a car, but when he hears someone scream he runs back in. It seems like his sense of survival would be saying just go, you can’t help anyone still in there. There are literally dozens of goons and thugs ready and willing to kill him. But he goes back in, dodges all those goons, saves the girl, and they make their escape. Somehow she is quiet even though she was earlier screaming in utter agony. It seemed silly how easy it was for him to get her to the car, because at that point they were looking for him! We do realize that he needed her presence for the moment where she creates a distraction allowing him to get on the train. Although how he travels on the train without his passport is a different question.
Velma: Paxton. His torture scene was off the chain too. You have leather apron dude who apparently wants to kill an American and is almost deterred from Pax because he speaks German. The muscle just muzzles Pax with a ball gag to ensure the client’s satisfaction. Leatheraccithen proceeds to cut off Pax’s fingers with hedge clippers. Pax starts choking and the dude releases the gag. He then come backs to kill Pax with a chainsaw and ends up tripping and killing himself! Yes, this was all luck. I would say that we were granted some satisfaction when Pax ran over the bait girls and that dude who first directed him and his fallen comrades to this nightmare. We are also granted retribution by seeing Saladhandsget his just desserts. And, we are given some sort of happy ending by seeing him ride off into the proverbial sunset. Of course, that is until Hostel 2…which that will be a fun one to debate as well. This movie has accomplished a few things for me. I now fear traveling abroad, even though I never have and probably never will! It also makes me realize how naïve I am by not ever considering these types of events actually happen. Oh, and I love Oli! A side note, my son Orin was almost named Oli! True story!
BLOODYMONKEYZ: Maybe I missed something (I am sure you think I missed lots of somethings, but that is a different discussion!) You mention Saladhands getting his just desserts. But it doesn’t make sense to me that Paxton goes after him. Sure, he was creepy on the train, and he was obviously in Slovakia because he saw him at the bar. But I don’t think he ever knew that Saladhands was involved. Yes, we know Saladhands (and the others) had tattoos, but I thought the revelation of his tattoo was something that only Josh saw at the bar. I may be wrong here though, but it would require watching this again to find out. But Paxton going after Saladhands in the way just makes no sense for his character. We, the viewers, know that Saladhands is a bad guy, but Paxton just knows that he is weird and happens to have gone to Slovokia. This could have been easily fixed by having Paxton see the tattoo which Saladhands has on his arm. For me, this was merely another moment of Eli Roth simply not paying attention to the details that are important with making a movie, and storytelling in general.
Velma: Maybe Pax just heard Foliage Fingers (yeah, my original) and put two and two together since he was having the same exact conversation with different people on the train. And leave Eli Roth be. He is the Bear Jew! He will get his baseball bat and show you how he feels about your critique!