31 A Rob Zombie Movie [Golden Star]

[VelmasDead]

It took an act of God and a $4.99 per month subscription to Shudder to watch this movie. I am not sure why I had such an aversion to it because I loved Halloween, House of 1000 Corpses and The Devils Rejects. This has become one of my favorite movies. I never would have thought in a million years this would be possible. Folks, it is true. Rob Zombie owns this industry. 

The premise isn't new. People are kidnapped, hunted and killed for entertainment. We saw a version of this in Hostel, Surviving the Game, Hunger Games and the list goes on. This movie is by far the most unique. There are numerous antagonists such as Sick-Head who is a Nazi midget that is fluent in Spanish! There are Schizo and Psycho-Head, the clowns that kill and rape. There is Death-Head whose paramour is Sex-Head. Sex-Head does the voice of Tommy Pickles from the Rugrats. How disturbing is that? Okay. None of them compare to the star of this motley group which is Doom-Head.   

How can you not be judged for finding Doom-Head captivating? How psychotic is that? How do you explain to someone that you are totally attracted to this painted up, pontificating murderer? It is a hard sell. But it can be sold. I am sure I have seen Richard Brake before. In this movie, I see only him. He owned this role. No one could replace him.  The movie opens with Doom-Head. His lean silhouette is standing in a doorway. He divulges to his victim that he gets paid to kill. He tends to like to hear himself talk. He is quite arrogant but it works. He verbally tortures his prey before killing him.

Our introduction to the unfortunate group of carnies is perfect. It is a montage scene with the tune "Walk Away" by the James Gang playing in the background. This footage lets you in on how fun and carefree their life is. They have no idea what horror they will stumble upon.  There is Charley who is played by Sheri Moon Zombie. She is one of the hottest women in existence. But, I digress. Jeff Daniels is Roscoe. He is this tall somewhat sensitive and super protective carnie. I have never been partial to men with a gold tooth, but for him I would make an exception. We have Meg Foster as Venus. I am going to sound obnoxious, but why am I attracted to almost (key word is almost) every man in this movie? Panda, the Jamaican, played by Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, is one of my favorite characters. He has this one look that expresses perplexity, disgust and everything else that even Rob Zombie felt the need to show multiple stills of. Last but not least is Levon played by Kevin Jackson. This is our group of unfortunates who we are rooting for to make it out alive!!! 

Malcom MacDowell must have a blood pact with Zombie to star in his movies. He plays Father Murder, one of the rich folk that pays for this violent soiree. I don't want to give everything away but the group is taken and bids are placed on who will survive. The first Head that is sent out to massacre the group is Sick-Head. I am going to say this and you can judge me. I think he is sexy when he speaks Spanish and taunts the group. I will move on. He ends up biting it after murdering the first member of the group. Then Schizo and Psycho-Head come a calling and they are the killer clowns, but not from outer space! They are some vile dudes. But, they are defeated and none of the crew die. Next are Sex and Death-Head. I can't get past the fact this is Tommy Pickles prancing around in lingerie. It disturbs me more than it probably should. Death-Head is some German that escaped from the Big Lebowski. Of course, they bite it and one of my favorites is taken. RIP!!! Father Death and his harem of crones decide they need to get someone to finish the deal. They call Doom-Head. 

Now Doom-Head is in his flea bag apartment doing some chick doggy style. It is absolutely repulsive. He gets the call to go do some killing and has the most romantic conversation with his lady friend. I will tell you, I have heard some of the funniest things in Rob Zombie's movies. But this took the cake. I will not quote it just because someone with an impressionable mind might read this and I would be embarrassed! Just remember, look out for this conversation because if you find crude foulness humorous, then this is for you! 

Doom-Head is called in to take out the last of the three survivors. He takes out the first two easily. You know Sheri Zombie is going to be the last one standing. Why? She is Sheri Zombie! Also, her character, Charley is quite the bad-ass. Doom-Head eventually finds her. Doom-Head's lean frame...okay, that is a random thought. Moving on! Doom-Head starts one of his monologues. Actually, he starts a few monologues here. This is the priceless part about the movie. He runs out of time because he was too busy being long winded!!! It was golden. I didn't see it coming, but when it did I was laughing!   

Charley gets set free, but does she live? We don't know. As she is sauntering down the road to Aerosmith's "Dream On", you see Doom-Head rolling up in a van with a knife. You don't see it happen. It most likely does.

So, if you want entertainment, moral conflict because you are into a psychopath and the lust for a carnies life, this movie is for you!!!

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