Post by VelmasDead on Jun 24, 2016 9:39:19 GMT -6
I have seen this movie through each decade of my life and it never gets old. Before I start, I must say, this is another Wes Craven original. I am telling you, he has the touch to make horrific subject matter easier to swallow.
The story starts with Fred (only place I have seen his name is in the credits because no one refers to him as this) packing to get out of Dodge. What is Dodge? It is a rundown gas station in the middle of the desert. Ruby, his dirt caked granddaughter, startles him and begs him to take him with her. At this point, we have no clue what is transpiring. Fred laughs in her face (such a loving grandpa) and tells her she wouldn’t fit in the real world and then refers to “Jupiter” and asks if he knows she is leaving “the pack”. If a millennial is watching this, the only “pack” they are privy to is the “wolf pack”, and this is definitely not what we are talking about!!!
Since this is a gas station, customers show up! Ruby runs and Fred goes to see who is making the ruckus.
Now we meet Big Bob and his family. They consist of Big Bob, who is a retired police officer from Philadelphia, husband, father and grandfather. We have his wife, Ethel. Lynne is his eldest daughter, who is played by the beautiful Dee Wallace. Bobby and Brenda are his twins. Doug is Lynne’s husband. Katherine (aka Katy) is his granddaughter. Finally, we have Beauty and Beast which are the German Shepherds.
Big Bob and his wife are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary and are on their way to California. For their anniversary, they were given a silver mine which happens to be located somewhere in this vast wasteland. Fred tries to warn them to stay on the main road to California and stresses that there are no silver mines, just a nuclear testing site. Big Bob blows him off, pays and loads his brood in the car to be on their way. When the old man starts walking back to his truck it explodes. Whatever “Jupiter” and the pack are have thwarted his attempts to leave.
Now we are in the family roadster with Bob, Ethel, Lynne, Brenda at Katy. Bob is not giving up on locating that silver mine. His wife is tasked with holding the map, which contributes to the big car accident they are about to have. After a couple of low flying military jets startle them, Ethel drops the map, which flies into Big Bob’s face temporarily blinding him. He regains control of the car but decides to swerve when he sees a rabbit on the road. By saving the rabbit he renders his car inoperable. This is very hard for me to accept a manly man putting his family in jeopardy to save the life of a rabbit.
Doug and Bobby jump out of the camper to see if everyone is ok. Let’s talk about Doug. He is Sonny Bono’s doppelganger. He is also calm, laid back and can kick some ass. I love Doug. There will be more to come on that front. Then we have, Bobby. He is doing backflips in his short shorts which gives us hope that in the future he will be an Olympic gymnast! Brenda is whining and complaining about how they will all be “human French fries”. So, the game plan is that Bob and Doug will walk in opposite directions to find help. Bob is going to the gas station which is supposedly 5 miles away. This seems impractical to me. Ethel has alluded to the fact that he has a bad heart. So, an older man with a bad heart is going to walk five miles in the desert? Is this Ishtar? It doesn’t seem realistic. I mean, if you took away the heart issue it might seem plausible.
Brenda, the buxom blonde, feels as if someone is mentally undressing her as she looks off into the distance. Someone is! It is Mars! He is drawing a beautiful likeness of her with a stick in the dirt! That is our first hint that she is going to be object of some unwanted affection!
So, Big Bob gives Bobby a gun and puts him in charge of all the ladies. I believe Lynne would have been a better choice because Bobby is too busy with his Mitch Gaylord impersonation! Both men go their separate ways.
I haven’t given much attention to Beauty and Beast, the German Shepherds. These dogs are an integral part of this story. Beauty is barking and seems very upset. Bobby puts her in the camper because he is concerned that she is so agitated. Ethel is serving up lunch like the awesome mom she is! Brenda nonchalantly opens the camper door and Beauty runs out and races off into the hills. This is where everything starts.
Bobby is frantically running after Beauty. We hear a low, creepy voice beckoning Beauty. As Bobby starts climbing the rocky hills, he hears a painful yelp then silence. When he gets up the hill he sees that Beauty has been disemboweled. As he is standing there in shock, something makes a production in the bushes. I have never been able to figure out what is in the bushes. It spooks him so he starts running back to the camper, falls and hits his head.
Of course, you can imagine the concern taking place at the camper because all the men are MIA. Ethel is trying to contact someone on the CB. The only response is some heavy breathing which freaks Lynne out. Brenda takes the gun and goes out to look for Bobby. Mars is in the bushes, but Bobby comes walking out of the darkness so he realizes this isn’t the time to get his prize.
Now we catch up with Big Bob who made it to the gas station in one piece. This man has more stamina than me! He looks around the gas station and tries the telephone which much to everyone’s surprise…doesn’t work. Bob hears something and starts shooting. He opens a door to see the old man that runs the gas station hanging from the ceiling. Bob helps him down. Fred thought he was someone else that is why he tried to hang himself. He then goes into a very interesting story that gives us the background into what is transpiring up in the hills.
Fred had a wife and a daughter. His wife got pregnant with a twenty pound baby that was hairy as an ape! That baby killed his wife because it basically tore her in half during his delivery. At 10 years old, this boy was as big as his father. This boy burned down the family house with his sister inside. So, the old man beat him with a tire iron and dropped him off in the desert to die. Big Bob doesn’t seem impressed and thinks that this old man is afraid of the ghost of his dead son. His son is not dead. Apparently he kidnapped a whore and fathered a passel of wild kids out in the desert. The child is none other than Jupiter aka Papa Jupe. The old man tries to tell Bob his family isn’t safe when Jupiter pulls Fred through the window and aptly beats him with a tire iron. Bob tries to save Fred only to find him hanging inside an outhouse. This is the first time Big Bob shows any fear and starts running for his life. Creepy voices in the desert are calling out “Daddy”. It looks like Bob’s heart gets the best of him and he falls to the ground. Bob tries to grab his gun, but you see a foot step on his hand. Then you hear, “Daddy all gone.”
Back at the camper, Beast breaks free from his chain. I think he realizes something has happened to Beauty. Doug finally shows up home and is met with a gun in his face. The women folk are ecstatic that Doug is back. Ethel is upset that Bob is still gone.
Beast has found what remains of Beauty which is only her entrails. He starts howling.
Now we get a peek into Papa Jupe’s cave compound. Ruby is chained up and begrudgingly eating what appears to be Beauty. We get to meet the Matriarch of Jupiter’s family. Mama hears the dog howling and gets excited thinking of more food. Ruby tells her he is howling for Beauty and it wipes the smile off of Mama’s smug face.
Big Bob is not dead, but is being staked to a cross by Papa Jupe. Everyone at the camper is getting ready to go to sleep. Doug and Lynne go to the station wagon and engage in intimate activities. You see a plastic tube go into the gas tank of the love machine and realize someone is syphoning gasoline. Bobby is out looking in the bushes because he hears a dog which is really Mars. He tries to get back in the camper and realizes the door is locked and he has forgotten his key. He goes and knocks on the wagon and is met by an annoyed Lynne and Doug who are not pleased with being interrupted in their bumping of uglies! Bobby breaks down and tells them that he found Beauty gutted up in the hills and that there is something weird going on.
Inside the camper, Pluto, another one of Papa Jupe’s prodigal sons, is scavenging around for food. We come to realize he is the one that locked the door. Pluto decides to put the moves on a sleeping Brenda and hears the others coming back to the camper when he yells, “NOW”. There is a horrible scream and we realize it is Big Bob burning in the middle of a clearing. He is staked to a cross. Doug, Lynne, Bobby and Ethel run out there to help him. Mars, who is sporting the worst wig in the world, jumps off the roof of the camper and walks in. Wasn’t it locked? He goes in starts eating raw meat and then bites their pet bird’s head off to drink the blood. All this time Brenda is screaming as Pluto tries to violate her. Mars comes over there and pulls him off and says this Oscarworthy line, “Wait till you get to be a man.” Pluto loses his mind because he was emasculated and starts tearing the trailer apart. Mars tells Brenda, “Baby’s fat. You’re fat…fat and juicy.” Honestly, his gift of flattery is like no other! He then has his way with her.
Lynne takes her mother back to the camper since she doesn’t want her to see her husband burnt to a crisp. As they walk in, Lynne sees the intruders and fights like a trooper for Katy and gets shot in the stomach. Ethel has gained her senses and smashes Mars over the head with a frying pan which results in her being shot in the stomach. Brenda slides a knife across the floor to Lynne who in turn stabs Mars in the leg and he shoots her in the head. Mars hands Pluto the baby which he takes and runs off with her. Mars grabs Brenda and puts the gun in her mouth and pulls the trigger but there are no bullets left. He leaves her with, “I will come back for you later, girlie.”
Bobby grabs Brenda while Doug runs into the trailer and immediately sees his beautiful wife on the floor. I will admit it, I cried. Dee Wallace is an excellent actress. I really liked her character and she was a mother fighting for her child’s life. Doug holds his wife and then hears Ethel mumbling and realizes she is alive. Bobby walks in and is devastated. All of a sudden, Doug realizes he hasn’t checked on the baby and looks in her crib and sees she is gone. He loses his mind and runs out screaming into the darkness.
You then get to witness some of the gems of this movie. There is another brother named Mercury. He is wearing every type of fur skin you can imagine. Pluto talks to Mercury and tells him that they have a baby to eat. Mercury is getting ready to leave when Beast aka Devil Dog runs out of the bushes and knocks Mercury off the cliff. Beast also does the folks at the camper a solid by picking up the radio and taking it with him. Pluto hears something, but brushes it off and goes home with Mars and Katy.
Back at the cave, Papa Jupe is none too pleased with Ruby and backhands her for trying to leave. Jupiter let’s her know that he fixed the old man good and that he likes fixing people (these need to go into a book of quotes). They try to call Mercury on the radio but he isn’t answering so Pluto tells Papa he heard something. Jupiter also asks Mars if he killed everyone like he said. Then we get to see Jupiter yelling at Big Bob’s head. He says some of the best lines I have ever heard! “You stick your life in MY face? Stick your fingers in MY pie? I am going to watch your dried up seed fly away and eat the heart of your stinking memory!” I can only hope that I run across a situation in my life that warrants me to say those words!
So now it is time for the survivors to take action. We hear some seventies “I’m on a mission” instrumental playing as we see Doug running through the desert with Beast. He is going to get his daughter. Jupiter and Pluto are on their way to finish off the survivors at the camper. Bobby is still trying to raise someone on the radio. He gets someone who asks what his “defensive capabilities” are. He provides all of the information on what weapons are left to defend themselves. He then realizes that he isn’t speaking to someone that is going to help him once he is given instructions to stick his head in his ass. Bobby knows that he and Brenda are in trouble.
As Papa and Pluto make their way to the camper, Devil Dog jumps out of the bushes and attacks Pluto. Jupiter just leaves him. Father of the year! Bobby uses his mother’s body as bait to lure Papa Jupe into a trap to kill him. When Papa approaches Ethel’s corpse, we hear a car turned on, a cable is wrapped around his leg’s and he is dragged. Unfortunately, the car stops running. Brenda and Bobby then run into the camper, hoping that Jupiter will follow. They both climb out the window and blow the camper up. Brenda is ecstatic but Bobby wants to be sure Jupiter is dead. Jupiter grabs Bobby and Brenda goes ham and uses an axe on him. Bobby ends Jupiter by shooting him.
Mars received an order to kill the baby. As he goes to carry it out, he lifts the baby blanket only to find a baby pig. He finds his mother knocked out and realizes that Ruby has taken the baby. As Ruby is on the run, she sees Doug and gives him Katy. He realizes she is a friend. Mars shows up so Doug gives Katy back to Ruby and goes to faceoff with Mars. Ruby hides Katie in a safe place and tires to help Doug by luring Mars after her. Mars isn’t interested for long because he hears the baby and so does Doug. They start fighting and Doug isn’t doing so well. Ruby intervenes by commandeering a Rattlesnake and lets it bite Mars which paralyzes him. You can see she is torn up inside because he is her brother. Doug goes crazy and stabs Mars repeatedly until the screen turns read.
Wes Craven knows how to make campy, entertaining movies. I will watch it any day of the week and I always recommend it. Now, the remake is a little different. The remake is not funny by any means. It is serious. Hopefully it won’t be a year before I review that!